


love shot

by Dienerys



Category: C.T.O, 少年之名 | We Are Young (TV 2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26833531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dienerys/pseuds/Dienerys
Summary: Zhan Shiwei feels Things for Yang Zixin
Relationships: Yang Zixin/Zhan Shiwei
Kudos: 2





	love shot

**Author's Note:**

> i can’t get over the fact shiwei's English name is snoopy. i was so upset at his elimination it was actually the worst and so unfair

Zhan Shiwei watches Zuo Linjie bounce around Yang Zixin.

Zixin is patient with the younger boy, smiling at him in a fond, brotherly way. Linjie grins and bounces over to Shiwei.

Shiwei remembers when they had first met Linjie. The boy had been shy and quiet and calm. A stark contrast to how he acts around them now.

“Shiwei-ge, are you nervous?” Linjie asks, sitting next to where Shiwei is sprawled on the floor.

Shiwei ruffles his hair, catching Zixin’s fond glance in their direction.

“Who wouldn’t be?” Shiwei responds, “are you?”

Linjie looks down at his hands, thoughtful for a moment, “I don’t know,” he says honestly. 

Shiwei combs Linjie’s bangs smooth again before returning to his sprawled position.

The younger boy gets up to bother Xue En and Shiwei closes his eyes briefly.

He becomes aware of a presence next to him and opens one eye to see Zixin grinning down at him.

Shiwei lazily pokes Zixin in the side causing his older teammate to squirm and wiggle away with a squeak.

The day of the qualifying evaluations comes far too fast for Zhan Shiwei’s comfort. He fidgets with the white lining on his jacket, picking at the edges.

Yang Zixin tugs his hands away and smooths it down.

“Nervous?” Zixin knocks his hand against the back of Shiwei’s. Shiwei ignores the warmth that travels up his spine and he returns with a shoulder bump.

“You know me,” Shiwei teases, “when am I ever nervous?”

The fondly exasperated look Zixin shoots in his direction stays with Shiwei through the performance.

They’re good at performing, they have a similar sense of humor and their transition from humorous to serious seems to leave a good impression and Shiwei is feeling confident about how they did.

That confidence is shattered when the judges make their announcement.

The peculiar feeling of relief and sadness and disappointment that flashes through Shiwei when the ones who made it through are announced is not a feeling Shiwei likes.

He’s relieved that him, Zixin and Xue En all made it in. He’s sad that the other three didn’t. He’s upset at the replacement mechanism and that in order for him to get a chance, Zhan Yu lost his.

Zixin subtly squeezes his hand in reassurance as he takes a seat next to Linjie. Shiwei guiltily looks at Zhen Nan and Lin Mo, not wanting to meet their eyes as he chooses the seat between Shen Bohuai and Ma Haowen.

The rest of the night is a flurry of ups and downs. He’s relieved enough to cry when Zhan Yu returns to the Qualified Zone and he realizes that Yi Yangqianxi knew.

Shiwei finds Zhan Yu afterwards and goes to hug him. The other trainee laughs in relief and returns the hug.

Shiwei is exhausted. It’s been an emotional roller coaster for him and he spent most of it sitting in the back.

Zixin finds him after and bumps their shoulders together. In the car on the ride back to the hotel, Shiwei rests his head on Zixin’s shoulder. Usually it’s the other way around, with Zixin being the more affectionate of the pair, but Shiwei is tired and sad about separating from the rest of CTO.

“Tired?” Zixin hums, resting his cheek against Shiwei’s head. Shiwei nods.

“Me too,” Zixin admits.

Xue En is already passed out asleep in the front seat.

Saying goodbye to the other three makes Shiwei depressed and he finds himself sitting outside the hotel, staring up at the sky.

Of course it’s Yang Zixin that finds him.

“Hey,” Zixin settles next to him, shoulders pressed together, “you disappeared on us”

“I couldn’t take the goodbyes,” Shiwei laughs hollowly. Zixin sighs.

“It’s not forever,” he points out, “it’s just for a few months. We’ll be CTO again in no time”

Shiwei blinks. Zixin laughs.

“Really? Did you think this meant we were separating forever?”

“Well if any of us debuts at the end-“

“We’ll still go back to CTO once the contract is over,” Zixin says, knocking his hand lightly against Shiwei’s head. “CTO forever baby!”

Shiwei feels a bit more settled at Zixin’s words. Zixin sighs.

“It’ll be okay,” he smiles crookedly.

It is okay. For the most part.

Shiwei has fun. He makes new friends. He performs onstage to the cheering of fans. He becomes semi-responsible for and ridiculously fond of a barely independent and overly emotional eighteen year old.

He also gets eliminated at the first round.

The hope he had held onto that his group would be able to save him is crushed with the announcement that Obsession is the final group with the right to save people.

He was doing fine with this depressing turn of events until Yang Zixin began to speak. The distress in his teammate’s eyes and the way Zixin struggles with his words as his eyes glitter with unshed tears push Shiwei into bowing his head to hide his own.

It’s made worse when he sees Yang Chaowen break down. Seeing both the teammate he’s been harboring feelings for and the kid who has become his little brother begin to cry is his breaking point and he tries to leave the room only to be dragged back by Zixin, who comes sprinting over and grabs him from behind, briefly cupping his cheek.

“Where are you going?” Zixin laughs through his tears, “it’s alright...” he repeats over and over and Shiwei wonders who Zixin is trying to convince as he fights back his own tears. “It’s alright, okay?”

When Zuo Linjie comes barreling into his arms, crying, followed by Guo Zhen and Xue En, Shiwei gives up the battle and begins to cry with them.

He probably would’ve been fine if everyone else wasn’t crying.

It’s exhausting and Yang Zixin ends up comforting Guo Zhen and Zuo Linjie. Zhan Shiwei slips away from the group to run up the stairs and find Chaowen who is so deep in his distress, he hasn’t moved from his chair. He hugs Su Xunlun, who also hasn’t gone down.

Chaowen doesn’t even seem to register his presence and it breaks his heart and makes him cry even more.

Yang Chaowen is so young and Shiwei’s biggest regret in leaving the show is that he can’t stay with him, that he can’t protect him anymore.

They take a group picture and it’s a shame because nobody looks very good after having cried their eyes out for who knows how long.

Afterwards, Chaowen finds him and doesn’t let go of his hand even as they’re being shuttled back to the hotel.

They ride back is quiet. Normally Zixin would be making jokes or trying to lighten the mood, but he’s staring out the window deep in thought. Chaowen has fallen asleep with his head on Shiwei’s shoulder, exhausted from the crying.

Lin Ran and Su Xunlun end up guiding a half-asleep Chaowen into the hotel and up to his room while Shiwei trails behind Yang Zixin and Xue En.

The mood in the room is somber as they change out of their uniforms and Shiwei begins to pack.

“What now?” Shiwei asks idly, sitting on top of his luggage.

“Go back to Taiwan,” Zixin says softly, kneeling in front of him and pressing their foreheads together, “it’s not a complete loss you know? Now more people know about CTO”

Shiwei nods. Zixin is so close; his eyes and cheeks are puffy but he still looks so handsome and Shiwei briefly forgets how to breathe.

Then Zixin leans in and presses a light kiss to the corner of Shiwei’s mouth.

“Careful,” Xue En says from the bed. “China isn’t as tolerant as Taiwan”

“It’s not like there’s cameras in here,” Zixin shrugs. Xue En raises an eyebrow and Zixin gets the look in his eye that says he’s about to do something to prove his point.

Sure enough, Zixin leans in and presses a kiss right to Shiwei’s lips.

Zhan Shiwei freezes briefly, heart racing in his chest.

“See?” Zixin grins smugly. 

Shiwei is tired. His heart is already battered from the elimination and seeing Chaowen cry. Having his feelings played with, even if Zixin didn’t mean to, just makes things worse.

“Proving a point,” Shiwei says flatly, feeling his heart shatter. “I’m too tired for you to play with my feelings like that”

Zixin looks confused for a second before understand crosses his face.

“Shi-“

Shiwei is already out of the door of the room before Zixin can finish his sentence.

He wanders between the second and third floor of the hotel for a long time. He’s not sure why he’s hiding like that, just that he is.

When he gets a weird look from one of the hotel staff, Shiwei decides he should probably go back to his room.

Holding his breath that Zixin left, he pushes open the door to his room. The light is off, so Xue En must be out.

“Snoopy,” he freezes and turns on the light. Zixin is sitting cross-legged on his bed, eyes red. “Wait,” he says, stopping Shiwei from leaving. “I tried to find you...let me talk?”

Shiwei hesitates, but closes the door behind him. Zixin exhales, looking nervous. Shiwei regrets having said anything because now he’s gone and made things awkward.

“I’m bad at this,” Zixin admits, “I don’t really know what to say but...I wasn’t playing with your feelings. I didn’t even know you had feelings,” he pauses and crinkles his nose, “well, obviously, everyone has feelings I just didn’t know those feelings were for me”

“Look,” Shiwei holds up his hand tiredly, stopping Zixin’s rambling. “It’s fine. I was tired and I overreacted. I hope this doesn’t change things between us”

“But I want it to!” Zixin blurts out before widening his eyes.

Silence falls over them. Shiwei in stunned disbelief and Zixin clearly trying to formulate his thoughts.

“You have no idea how long I’ve had a crush on you,” Zixin finally says and Shiwei sits down on the bed opposite him. “It’s been a long time. I never would have guessed you felt the same”

“Really?” Shiwei asks softly. Zixin nods. Shiwei exhales. “Wow”

Zixin laughs and looks up.

“Hey, can I kiss you? For real this time?”

Shiwei’s heart is hammering in his chest as he nods. Zixin gets up and approaches Shiwei, looking down at him as he leans in.

Zixin is close enough that Shiwei can count his individual lashes and he again forgets how to breathe.

They end up sitting on the bed talking about everything and nothing; Zixin sitting between Shiwei’s legs with his back against his chest and Shiwei’s arms around his waist.

It’s like nothing between them has really changed; it’s still the same easy atmosphere.

And that’s how the end up falling asleep.

Shiwei barely wakes up when Xue En pushes open the door.

He hears a soft snort and mumble about should have stayed with Oscar before he falls back asleep.


End file.
